Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do? This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to intimacy.How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? The Torah obligates the husband to meet the intimate needs of his wife. Men are goal-oriented, especially when it comes this area.
You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it.Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together.Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise.Of all the studies done on divorce, incompatibility in the intimate arena is almost never cited as a main reason why people divorce. You pick the wrong person because you do not have a deeper emotional connection with this person. You pick the wrong person because you choose someone with whom you don't feel emotionally safe.To evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person? Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person?