"Hopefully, he's learned from his experience and is more aware of what it takes to be in a relationship," she adds.Coming out of a marriage that didn't work, divorced dads have been through tough times.In the past year alone, I've had two guys tell me that between their demanding jobs and their children, they didn't have time for a relationship.The first lived out of town — at the beginning of January, we were talking about him planning a trip to visit me in New York later that month.And, as fathers, they know how to care for another human being!It's heartwarming to hear a man talk lovingly about his children, and gives me a glimpse into his caring, sensitive, and nurturing side.I've made sacrifices in my life to be a writer — namely, financial. I like a lot of things about my apartment, but it feels like maybe a step and a half up from a dorm, with nary a picture hanging on the wall or throw rug on the floor.For the past 11 years, I've lived in a small studio apartment that I initially thought of as a temporary place to park until I bought a brownstone. Divorced dads have real, grown-up responsibilities. They've likely lived in fully decorated homes, even if they don't at the moment due to a post-divorce transition.
Divorced dads also seem grown-up in a way that I don't quite feel I am yet.Yes, painful experiences, like going through a divorce, can make someone more compassionate and open them up.For that to happen, though, it generally requires a lot of soul searching, awareness, and work on yourself.Divorced dads I've dated have bailed on things from Saturday night movie plans to major events in my life when babysitters backed out or their exes called for last-minute back-up.And while divorced dads have legitimate childcare responsibilities, it can sometimes feel like they're using their kids as an excuse to keep me at a distance, or end the relationship altogether.